I love this! It's kind of heartbreaking, but since *you're* the author, I went into it knowing that it might not be all rainbows and puppies, lol. Here are some feedbacky thoughts:
Nitpicky grammatical stuff first. I noticed two spelling errors:
"Mulder, the glint in your eyes is unmistakably. It runs in your family."
unmistakably = unmistakable
Mulder got out of the bed altogether and made a bee line for his bag, because his immediate instinct was to call Scully and tell her everything, get her to analize all of it with him
analize = analyze (ETA: Also, I think "beeline" is one word.)
Okay, sorry, all done. I hope you don't think I'm trying to be critical in a bad way when I point out these things; I just know that if I were writing and posting fic, I would want someone to correct me sooner rather than later.
Now, on to the rest!
- I love the scene with Marita in the hotel room. Each time I read one of her lines, I heard it in her voice in my head! You always write peripheral characters well, and Marita is one of the best. Totally in character for her, etc. I love the details about the Syndicate and everything falling apart, because it seems realistic/believable. For some reason I particularly love this part: Marita sat down on the edge of the other double bed, her slim figure barely denting the comforter. I can totally picture this.
- Even more than that, I *love* the Kersh scene. Despite his attitude and actions throughout the last four (?) seasons, what he did in the finale for M&S makes this scene totally believable. I can hear the You look like shit, young man / Don't I know it, sir exchange, and this is my favorite part: "Time was, I didn't know who to trust. I still don't, but my years have been long and my patience short." Mulder brushed his coat aside to reveal his pistol, to make a point with Kersh. Excellent! I almost cheered out loud when Kersh revealed that he wanted Mulder back as head of the X-Files division. Hurray!
- I love the Lucius Hartwell reference, as well as the allusion to an incident with a rabid dog and a faith healer that resulted in a broken leg. That vignette is just begging to be written. :P
- Maggie Scully died. :(
- The last section was so saaaad! Ugh, M&S are so freaking stubborn. ::stomps foot::
But Michele, this was excellent. Even though it wasn't swoony and romantic and happily ever after, I can actually see it being the way things happened - as much as I hate to admit that, lol. Please PLEASE write the next installment, wherein they finally reunite after all these years. Pretty please? You fic writers have a unique opportunity here, one that hasn't been presented to you in a very long time: You've got between now and July 25th to write this however you want, before the movie arrives and canon replaces fanon again. Do it, do it, do it!
Very good story. I'm impressed (but not surprised). Bravo!
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-17 01:42 pm (UTC)Nitpicky grammatical stuff first. I noticed two spelling errors:
"Mulder, the glint in your eyes is unmistakably. It runs in your family."
unmistakably = unmistakable
Mulder got out of the bed altogether and made a bee line for his bag, because his immediate instinct was to call Scully and tell her everything, get her to analize all of it with him
analize = analyze
(ETA: Also, I think "beeline" is one word.)
Okay, sorry, all done. I hope you don't think I'm trying to be critical in a bad way when I point out these things; I just know that if I were writing and posting fic, I would want someone to correct me sooner rather than later.
Now, on to the rest!
- I love the scene with Marita in the hotel room. Each time I read one of her lines, I heard it in her voice in my head! You always write peripheral characters well, and Marita is one of the best. Totally in character for her, etc. I love the details about the Syndicate and everything falling apart, because it seems realistic/believable. For some reason I particularly love this part: Marita sat down on the edge of the other double bed, her slim figure barely denting the comforter. I can totally picture this.
- Even more than that, I *love* the Kersh scene. Despite his attitude and actions throughout the last four (?) seasons, what he did in the finale for M&S makes this scene totally believable. I can hear the You look like shit, young man / Don't I know it, sir exchange, and this is my favorite part: "Time was, I didn't know who to trust. I still don't, but my years have been long and my patience short." Mulder brushed his coat aside to reveal his pistol, to make a point with Kersh. Excellent! I almost cheered out loud when Kersh revealed that he wanted Mulder back as head of the X-Files division. Hurray!
- I love the Lucius Hartwell reference, as well as the allusion to an incident with a rabid dog and a faith healer that resulted in a broken leg. That vignette is just begging to be written. :P
- Maggie Scully died. :(
- The last section was so saaaad! Ugh, M&S are so freaking stubborn. ::stomps foot::
But Michele, this was excellent. Even though it wasn't swoony and romantic and happily ever after, I can actually see it being the way things happened - as much as I hate to admit that, lol. Please PLEASE write the next installment, wherein they finally reunite after all these years. Pretty please? You fic writers have a unique opportunity here, one that hasn't been presented to you in a very long time: You've got between now and July 25th to write this however you want, before the movie arrives and canon replaces fanon again. Do it, do it, do it!
Very good story. I'm impressed (but not surprised). Bravo!